ROTNG outtakes
by ThatOneSelfInsertGuy
Summary: This is the stuff too crazy for my other fic. Read at your own risk.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey, if you are here, you found it. Basically, I was really tired today, so I didn't type a new chapter. But, this is here. This is the crack that I thought would be good in The realm of the new god, but for various reasons I decided not to. Maybe new chapters as I come up with new crack. Also, you may notice this is more in a script format as well. It makes it faster to type, and is just as funny as well. Anyway, this has two scenes. BEGIN!**

Scene 1

Me (IRL) : Hmmmm… I am writing a fanfic. I can do what I want. Who needs support conversations?

(In game)

Chrom: Oh hey Cordelia. Did Noah ask you to come here too?

Cordelia: *Wheezing* Yeah.

Chrom: Where is he?

Cordelia: *Hyperventilating.*

Chrom: ...Er.

Me: Alright you two! Just walk through that door into that room.

Chrom: Ok?

(Door closes and locks behind them.)

Chrom: What are you doing?

Me: You two aren't leaving until I get my support conversations!

Chrom: What the hell are support conversations!?

Me (Through megaphone): Alright! Support C, Start!

**Support C**

Chrom: Er… How is it going?

(Cordelia faints.)

Me: Great! That is a wrap! Now B!

Chrom: SHE IS PASSED OUT ON THE GROUND! A LITTLE HELP?

Me: …

Chrom: …

Me: No.

**Support B**

(Cordelia wakes up.)

Chrom: Are you alright?

Cordelia: H-h-h-h-h-h-h-HOT!

Chrom: Um… Thanks?

(Cordelia faints again.)

Me: That's Support conversation B!

Chrom: WHAT IN NAGA'S NAME IS A SUPPORT CONVERSATION YOU DASTARD?

Me: Time Travel.

Chrom:...

Me: I think I have some smelling salts here… there you go. ONTO NEXT CONVERSATION!

**Support A**

(Cordelia wakes up again.)

Chrom: Here. In case you faint again.

Cordelia: T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-THANK YOU CHROM SENPAI!

Chrom: Ah… You're welcome.

(Chrom glares at me, I make shooing motions at him.)

Chrom: So…

(Cordelia faints again.)

Chrom: OH COME ON!

Me: Great! Now ask her to marry you, and we can be done!

Chrom: ...What? NO!

Me: I guess you don't want to leave then.

Chrom: …

Me: …

Chrom: ...Fine.

**Support S**

(Cordelia wakes up.)

Chrom: This guy wants us to get married…

Cordelia: YUS LETS MAKE BABIES NOW!

Chrom: Watt?

Me: My work here is done. (Walks away.)

(Chrom busts out of the room like the kool-aid man, cape aflutter, and red lipstick covering face.)

Chrom: YOU!

Me: THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

Scene 2

(Lucina is in tent getting ready for battle.)

Robin: Hey baby… What the Fuck is going on?

(Lucina has taken off a blue wig, and a mask, revealing herself to be…)

Gregor: Oi! What is with the grouchy, and the bad language?

Robin: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH LUCINA?

Gregor: Nothing. Could you stop with the racket? Gregor has liquor headache.

Robin: What.

Gregor: Oi, now just hold on.

Robin: Have.

Gregor: Just stop with the talking.

Robin: You.

Gregor: No pain! Gregor tell!

(Gregor takes wig off Robin.)

Robin: What?

(Gregor takes mask off Robin.)

Gregor 2: Oi! Start making the explanation!

Gregor: Urm… Well…

Gregor 2: What?

Gregor: Everyone is Gregor.

Gregor 2: That is not making any sense to Gregor.

(Gregor grabs Lon'qu.)

Lon'qu:... Let go of me you fool of a man.

(Gregor takes disguise off Lon'qu.)

Gregor 3: Let's start with the butt kicking!

Narrator: And so, two hours later…

Gregor: Let the first meeting of the Gregor Shepherds begin! What should Gregors do?

Gregor 21: Do a side job, yes?

Gregor 15: Make with the plans for Gregor's nudist colony!

Gregor 7: Get the appreciation of lovely lady.

Gregor 12: OI!

(Gregors look at 12.)

Gregor 12: We take all the alcohol, and Gregor will drink it!

Gregors: OI! AN IDEA WORTHY OF GREGOR!

Narrator: And so, the Gregor Coup began. They hit every bar and inn, never satisfied. Eventually, the Gregors stopped, half of their numbers killed in a drunken brawl amongst themselves. They then decided to put the plan into motion by purchasing a secluded island, and made a Gregor-only Nudist colony. Naturally, this made everyone invited, because…

Gregors: EVERYONE IS GREGOR!

**AN: I may be insane. You see why I never put this in the fic? I do. REVEIW IF YOU LIKED! I MAY CONTINUE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Here is another scene I wish the REAL youtubers would do. This is satire on Epic Rap Battles, so I do not own any of it. **

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AWAKENING!

THARJA VERSUS LUCINA!

BEGIN!

**Lucina:** Ah Tharja, just the girl I wanted to see.

Let me just show you how sharp Falchion can be.

For the last time, Robin doesn't really love you,

So go back to your husband and daughter

Who truly, truly adore you.

You see, I came from the future to protect the parents

Even if they go a cursin' the unaware of this.

You see! I have a purpose! Why do you exist?

Other than to be that creepy ass bitch?

**Tharja: **You want to talk about purpose? No one's has wavered more

Then the cross dressing skank who gets her identity from the thrift store.

Picture this, a woman goes back in time to stop a dragon demon thing (Ok.)

But then hops on it's dick as soon as he pulls out a ring. (What?)

Now, I may not be best known for loyalty to causes

But I am pretty sure that betrayal was flawless.

Nothing to say? Is that sword made of glass?

Something that breaks as soon as I whoop your ass?

You know when you got cursed by Tharja.

Because my flows flow as smooth as Robin's hair, told ya.

**Henry: **Hi kids! There is no CAWS for alarm!

Blood jokes and crow puns are just a part of my charm.

Now what sort of baddie do we have to kill today?

Of CORPSE! It is mister gender confused and stalker Jay!

Now let's start with Lucina.

I really wouldn't want to be ya.

You wanted to defeat Grima.

But you abandoned your world. (See ya!)

Now what about Tharja? A better curser I have not seen!

NYAHAHAHAHA! That was a joke. There is no way she can get to me!

I am smiles! I am dark! You want flows? Can't stop the flood!

When you rap against the dark mage who is obsessed with blood! (Ooh blood.)

**Walhart: **Dark mage, you want to see blood get spilled?

Follow me and have your hunger be filled.

Tell me exactly how many people have you killed?

Can't be as many as the rhyme's I've drilled.

You think you have skill?

I spoke a rhyme and got a Shepherd kill!

I will conquer the entire world until

I stand it's lone ruler for good or ill.

You think anything will save you now?

It's true! You still have knees to bow.

So kneel at my feet and I may allow.

Your puny lives to continue for now.

**Naga: **Hey I have been watching your progress

Congratulations! your effort has resulted in this!

A little power so that you can do my work,

Then stop Grima's plans with a couple of jerks.

Thats right! You all are just my puppets!

If you wanna prove me wrong, just strike this.

Oh wait, I am your god? That's a shame.

You are just proving how you are lame.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AWAKENING!

**AN: Seriously, answer the question! I may do another based on the reactions! Review to tell me! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey guys, this requires some explanation. I am writing off of a series of prompts that you can find on Sylviusthestrange's profile, so I can't really take credit for the questions, but the answers and my top ten favorite characters (Listed below) are completely mine. Have fun reading!**

1. Olivia (Everyone who has not read my other story, this is my Waifu.)

2. Henry

3. Donnel

4. Cordelia

5. Cynthia

6. Sumia

7. Gaius

8. Lucina

9. Gregor

10. Chrom

**What would you do if Number 1 woke you up in the middle of the night?**

Me: You want to...

Liv: Yes.

Me: LET'S GET STARTED!

*start making out.*

**Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering?**

Me: *Singing still alive from portal*

Donnel: I reckon you dropped your soap.

Me: Thanks Donnel.

Donnel: You are quite welcome.

Me:...

Donnel: *Begins hesitantly humming still alive.*

Me: SHIT! A GHOST!

**Number 4 announced he/she's going to marry 9 tomorrow?**

Me: So let me get this straight. Because you can't marry Chrom, you are marring Gregor.

Cordelia: Yes.

Me: Therefore, by extension, you are marrying everyone.

Cordelia: Also true.

Me: Then what does that make you? A pervert or a whore?

Cordelia:...

Me:...

Cordelia: *Stab.*

**Number 5 cooked you dinner?**

Me: Cynthia.

Cynthia: Yup?

Me: You made this for me?

Cynthia: A hero must eat a healthy meal before battle!

Me: Why is my protein crawling away?

Cynthia: That is the pudding.

Me: Why does it have legs?

**Number 6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?  
><strong>  
>Me: I DIDNT DO ANYTHING CHROM!<p>

Chrom: That makes me suspicious...

Me: Seriously! Nothing is happening here!

Sumia: *in sleep* mmmm yes. Right there.

Chrom: *drawing Falchion.* You have until the count of ten.

Me: WAAAAAAAAAH!

**Number 7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family?**

Me: AH. So that is how we are related.

Gaius: do you know what that means?

Me: What?

Gaius: Share your candy.

Me:... I didn't want it anyway.

**Number 8 got into the hospital somehow?**

Lucina: ...

Me: ...

Lucina: You wondering how I got here?

Me: Not really.

Lucina: I tried to take some of Gaius' candy.

Me: Ow.

**Number 9 made fun of your friends?**

Me: Gregor, quit making fun of yourself.

Gregor: Gregor is just kidding with Gregor.

**Number 10 ignored you all the time?**

Me: Chrom, I am sorry for the weird things your wife said. Can you stop the silent treatment?

Chrom:...No.

Me: HAH!

Chrom: Dammit.

**Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 do?**

Olivia: Time for you two to die. *draws sword.*

Me: Let's do this Liv! *draws sword as well.*

**You're on a vacation with 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do?  
><strong>  
>Me: Um... Henry? What are you doing?<p>

Henry: Nyahahahaha! I just need a little bit of your blood...

Me: What do you need it for?

Henry: A curse that will make you able to walk to a healer.

Me: Oh. Thanks Henry.

*Head swells up to 3x it's normal size*

Henry: It also may CAWS some swelling.

Me: HENRY!

**It's your birthday. What does 3 get you?**

Donnel: Here. This should help with the swellin' I reckon. *Hands over lotion.*

Noah: Thanks Donnel.

Donnel: *begins humming Still alive out of tune.*

Noah: A GHOST!

**You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 do?**

Me: How the hell did I get in this situation?

Cordelia: Don't worry! I made a makeshift fire stopper with a rag and a drop of dew.

Me: Now you are just showing off.

Cordelia: Do you want out of this situation?

Me: YES!

Cordelia: Then check yourself before yo wreck yourself.

**You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 do?**

Cynthia: Do it! Are you a hero or what?

Me:I doubt heroes make their belly buttons talk.

Cynthia: Do it!

Me: *sigh*

My belly button: Hello Cynthia!

Cynthia: *giggle* Hello mr. Belly button.

Me: This is demeaning.

Cynthia: What was that Mr. Belly Button?

My belly button: I said this is demeaning!

(Oh gods.)

**You're about to marry number 10. What's 1's reaction:**

Olivia: What is going on?

Noah: Um...

Chrom: Noah and I are in love Olivia!

Noah: That isn't true!

*Olivia kills both of us.*

**You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up?**

Gaius: Don't worry! There are plenty of sweets to choose from.

Me: ...

Gaius: I can take you to a brothel if you want.

Me: Why are you written like this?

Gaius: The author has obviously read Chrom and my supports in their original state.

Me: Be that as it may...ERIN! GAIUS IS WOMANIZING AGAIN!

Gaius: This is so not sweet.

**You compete in a tournament. How does 9 support you?**

Gregor: It matters none. Gregor will be making with the winning of this tournament anyway.

Me: *sigh.*

Gregor: EVERYONE IS GREGOR!

**You can't stop laughing. What will 10 do?**

Chrom: Did Tharja curse you?

Me: *between bouts of laughter.* No.

Chrom: Did Henry curse you?

Me: *Wiping tears* No.

Chrom: Then what in Naga's name are you laughing about?

Me: *points out window toward Gaius and Erin's room. Another shock is visible through the window. Another bout of laughter starts.*

Chrom: *begins laughing as well*

**Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?**

Me: Because. She is beautiful and smart and beautiful and a good dancer and kind and beautiful and makes me feel happy. *deep breath* am I rambling? I think I am.

Liv: That is just fine.

**Number 2 tells you about his/her deeply hidden love for number 9**

Me: ...

Henry: ...

Me: I am not sure how I feel about this.

Henry: But I love him!

Me: Do you love him in the sense that he is an old fart, or in the sense that he is... Everyone.

Henry: That!

Me: ?

**You're dating 3 and he/she introduces you to his/her parents. Would you get along?**

Noah: A ghost just took me out for dinner.

Donnel: *has gotten much better at humming still alive.*

Donnel's Ma: GET OUT! YOU WERE A MISTAKE!

Donnel: but ma!

Donnel's Ma: GET OUT!

**Will number 5 and 6 ever kiss?  
><strong>

Me: ... I mean...they are mother and daughter... Yes?

**Number 6 appears to be a player, breaking many hearts. What do you do?**

Me: Ok Sumia. I get that the creators were pushing for the Chromia...

Sumia: Our cutscene was called lovebirds.

Me: Still kinda pissed about that, but why can't you be supported by any of the other guys in the army?

Sumia: I just don't like them. And that is not true! Robin, Frederick, Gaius, and Henry.

Me: Yes, but that is it.

Sumia: So?

Me: Lon'qu had a huge crush on you, but he was too afraid to say it.

Sumia: So?

Me: Ricken also had quite the crush on you until he died.

Sumia: And?

Me: You are breaking a lot of people's hearts by not being able to have support conversations with them.

Sumia: What about Anna, Say'ri, Tiki, Aversa, and Emmeryn?

Me:...

Sumia: Your argument is invalid.

**You had a haircut and 7 can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?**

Me: What is it Gaius?

Gaius: Your head looks like a lollipop.

Me: Ah.

Gaius:..

Me: You aren't going to stick it up your...

Gaius: THAT WAS ONE TIME!

**Number 8 thinks he/she'll never get a girl/boyfriend. What will you tell him/her?**

Me: Since when do you care about that?

Lucina: Well, I mean, all the other shepherds are pairing up, soooo...

Me: Talk to Robin about that. I can't help you.

Lucina: OK!

Me: Who knows who the shipping lord will put her with.

**Number 9 is too shy to face you and confesses their love by sending an email. Now what?**

Me: Gregor is everyone you need? Everyone is Gregor, so everyone loves you? *shudders*

**You spot 10 kissing 1. How do you react?**

RANT MODE ACTIVATED

Me: No! No! I do not approve of this! And it is not just because of the fact that she is my Waifu! The WAY these two get together in the video game just irks me. Chrom doesn't even know her for a full chapter when he asks her to marry him! I call bullshit on frozen being the creators of Love is an open fucking door, because these two did it first! Chrom! I know that Olivia is a GODSDAMN SEXY PIECE OF ASS (She is my wife, I can say that without repercussions.) But at least take a girl out to dinner before you go ASKING FOR HER HAND! I mean come on! I love the gal, but seriously? SERIOUSLY? Calm the fuck down man.

Besides! She is my wife! You can't fucking have her you entitled asshole!

*murders Chrom. Game over screen.*

**You notice that 3 and 4 have been inside that hotel room for MORE than a few hours. What are you thinking?**

Robin: Hmmmmm... The tactical advantage of Severa being the daughter of a ghost are intriguing. Could the child walk through walls? The tactical advantages for that are endless!

Me: You are having way too much fun with this.

**Could 1 and 6 be soul mates?**

Me: Clumsy and outgoing with Shy and graceful? ... These prompts give weird thoughts.

**Would 2 trust 5?**

Henry: Of CORPSE you can hold the Risen arm while I finish up the torso!

Cynthia: Yay! I must look super heroic with this risen arm! *trips, risen arm falls in water.*

Henry: Can I have the arm... Where did she go?

**Number 4 is bored and pokes 10. What happens after that?**

Chrom: Oh hey Cordelia.

Cordelia: I AM HERE FOR YOU TO FATHER MY CHILDREN!

Chrom: I thought you were with the Ghost of Donnel!

**5 and 1 are forced to go back to school together. What study will they pick?  
><strong>  
>Both: Theatre arts!<p>

**If 6 and 3 cooked dinner what would they make?**

Donnel: We'll make wild game pies I reckon.

Sumia: Exactly what I was thinking.

*brofist.*

**7 and 9 apply for a job. What job?**

Gregor: Gregor has all the jobs, because everyone is Gregor!

Gaius: You are killing that joke. Oh, I would apply for a job as an assassin. I will accept pay in the form of candy.

**8 gives 5 a haircut. Is that okay?**

Me: Lucina.

Lucina: Yes?

Me: In what world is that an okay haircut?

Lucina: What do you mean? That is the height of fashion.

Me: *aside.* You know when she thinks that it is the heightof fashion, that it is really bad.

**9 sketches what 6's perfect girl/boyfriend should look like; will 6 be happy?**

Sumia: Why is that a self portrait?

Gregor: Everyone is Gregor!

Sumia: That is it! Both you and that joke are dead!

*Stabs him.*

Sumia: You don't understand yet, but that was for the good of everyone.

**10 and 9 are blushing while they talk. What is their conversation about?**

Chrom: So you are saying that you are my wife?

Gregor: Gregor is with the being of the everyone.

Sumia: YOU! I killed you!

Gregor: You only killed one of Gregor! You are making with the forgetfulness again! Everyone is Gregor.

Sumia: Ffffffffffffffff-

**1 accidentally kicked 10?**

Olivia: Oh My gods! I am so sorry!

Chrom: It is fine.

**2 sent a message to his/her Bf/Gf but 9 got it. What would happen?**

Gregor: Gregor loves his fan mail.

Henry: Hey! Why exactly do you have Nowi's letter?

Gregor: Er…

**5 and 6 did a workout together?**

Cynthia: This is the workout of heros!

Sumia: Erm… Sit-ups?

Cynthia: Yeah!

**6 noticed he/she wasn't invited to your birthday?**

Sumia: Oh. I wasn't invited to his party? Must be because what I said in my sleep. That was a huge mistake.

**7 won the lottery?**

Me: What is with the truckload of candy?

Gaius: I won the lottery.

Me:... Suuuuurrree.

Gaius: No really!

Me: I believe you. It is just that you are a thief, and the lottery is very difficult to win.

Gaius: … Tell no one.

Me: You aren't fooling anyone.

**8 had quite a big secret?**

Lucina: I stole Falchion from father and replaced it with the one from the future.

Me: That isn't so…

Lucina: Shhhh! I am moping.

**9 became a singer?**

Me: RUN!

Olivia: What?

Me: Gregor is singing.

Olivia: …

Me: …

Olivia: OH GODS NO!

Both: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**10 got a daughter?**

Chrom: But I do… Two of them.

Me: Sorry, stupid question.

**What would 1 think of 2?**

Chrom: You are one crazy dastard, you know that?

Henry: Nyahahahaha! Thank you.

**How would 3 greet 4?**

Donnel: Howdy Cordelia!

Cordelia: Hi.

**What would 4 envy about 5?**

Cordelia: She is… So close to Chrom.

Cynthia: Not like anything is happening! He is my dad!

Cordelia: Don't remind me.

**What dream would 5 have about 6?**

Cynthia: No mom! Don't die! *gasp*

Sumia: What's wrong Cynthia.

Cynthia: I had that dream again mom.

Sumia: It's alright, I am here.

**What do 6 and 7 have in common?**

Me: I don't really know.

Gaius: We are both good at baking.

Me: There is that.

**What would make 7 angry at 8?**

Lucina: Hey.

Gaius: Don't forget! I know what you did! You stole my candy.

Lucina: And you sent me to the hospital! I think we are even!

Gaius: We will never be even.

**Where would 8 meet 9?**

Lucina: Erm, thank you for climbing up this tree, we need to talk.

Gregor: Gregor is making with the knowing! You want a piece of action yes?

Lucina: NO!

**What would 9 never dare to tell 10?**

Gregor: I made with the doing of the side job.

Chrom: What was it?

Gregor: Helping pelagians kill some Exalt Gregor.

*Chrom draws sword.*

**What would make 10 scared of 1?**

Chrom: Have you SEEN her? She gets this bloodrage, and she won't stop stabbing.

Olivia: What did you say Chrom?

Chrom: NOTHING!

**Is 3 Gay?**

Me: No way.

Donnel: Yeah. I reckon that a dead person can't be homo. Can he?

**AN: Yeah… We are done here.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: This one happened from a very specific idea.**

Narrator: Hello and welcome to this weeks edition of torturing Shepherds with music.

Audience: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Narrator: Let's check out our first victim.

**Libra**

*Libra is tied up in a room, but does not look particularly miffled. Considering he is married to Tharja, he must be used to this sort of treatment.*

Me: This song is by Aerosmith.

Libra: You mean a fletcher?

Me:... Sure

*Puts in the song.*

Song: DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY! YA! YA!

Libra: What in Grima's name is this?

Me: It's your theme song!

Song: DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!

Libra: *on beat.* No, No.

Narrator: We will check back with Libra's impending insanity. Next Victim.

**Lucina**

Me: Hello. I want you to listen to a song.

Lucina: Not much of a choice.

Me: This one is by the beetles.

Lucina: *Pupils dilate.* Beetles? As in BUGS?

Me: No. It is a band.

Lucina: Who in their right mind would name their band after a BUG?

Me: Don't ask me.

*Puts in the song.*

Song; LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS!

Lucina: This song is nice.

Me: Give it a couple hours.

Narrator: Next up…

**Tharja**

Me: Hi Tharja!

Tharja: I am cursing you as soon as I am out of here.

Me: That is interesting. I have a song for you.

Tharja: I hate music.

Me: Good. This will be entertaining….

*Puts on song*

Song: PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS DANCING ON RAINBOWS!

Tharja: YOU ARE DEAD! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!

Me: See you in a couple of hours.

Tharja: NOOOOOO!

Narrator: It's been two hours. Let's check how our victims are holding up…

**Libra**

Song: DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!

Libra: just tune out the song.

Song: DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!

Libra: It can do nothing to harm you…

Song: DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!

Libra: NO! I AM VERY MANLY!

Song: DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!

Libra: *On beat.* GAAAAAH! GAAAAAH!

**Lucina:**

Lucina: *Singing along off pitch.* Lucy in the sky with diamonds!

Me: You seem to be enjoying yourself.

Lucina: I LOVE this song.

Me: See you in a couple hours then.

**Tharja**

Song: PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS DANCING ON RAINBOWS!

Me: Is this cruel and unusual?

Tharja: I WILL RIP OFF YOUR DICK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!

Me: Okay… Bye.

Tharja: A THOUSAND CURSES OF DEATH UPON YOU!

Me: Henry? Can you help me out?

Narrator: After five hours, the newly tortured souls will be let out to see the world.

**Libra**

Libra: *Frazzled* I am not a girl. I am a manly man.

Me: How you feeling?

Libra: I am a man. I am a man. (Repeat for rest of determined lifespan.)

**Lucina**

Lucina:*Singing off pitch and out of tune.* Picture yourself on a train in a station.

Me: Um… Lucina?

Lucina: With tangerine trees, and marmalade sky.

Me: Lucy?

Lucina: LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS!

**Tharja**

Me: Tharja?

*Tharja's head is blown off.*

Me: Henry? How did she end up doing this?

Henry: NYAHAHAHA! Oh. She cursed herself.

Me:...

Henry: Isn't that Hilarious? Of CORPSE it is. I think I might laugh until I DIE!

**AN: Two insane, one dead. Good day's work. Follow, reveiw, and do whatever the hell else you like to do with my stories!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: This one can really only be understood if You have read chapter 40 of my other fic. It will be funny then. **

Henry: Hey Noah, do you need a HAND with that?

Me:...

Henry: There is no CAWS for the silent treatment. You stopped someone from making your wife a CORPSE of CORPSE! Nyahahahaha! Now you can walk this world ARM and ARM!

Me: Shut up.

Henry: Nyahahahaha! If you need a HAND with your work, you can always ask me. Or you can give it some ELBOW grease!

Me: Is that all?

Henry: Wait! I have one more! I think there was a tree growing out of your body, but now all I see is a STUMP!

Me: Good one.

Henry: Yeah! I really appreciate how you can still take a-

*cut off by punch to the face.*

Me: My right arm can only get stronger.

Henry: Ooooh blood. I am going to show Nowi right NOWI! On second thought... NAH!

Me: Did you name her that just for the pun?

Henry: NAH. I just really like the name!

Me:... Get out of here.

Henry: Yessir! No CAWS for anymore punches! You may hurt your HAND!

*Henry dodges this punch*

Henry: Nyahahahaha!

Me: Ass.

**AN:Still working on Chapter 41, so I was hoping this would tide you over. I am sorry that this is so short. Just typed this in between classes, and posted it on dinner break at work. I am pretty darn busy now. Moving out tends to do that, but getting away from my insufferable foster family was worth it. Anyway, follow reveiw and I will see you later.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: This was mainly to help you deal with no Chapter 42 yet. It is coming ladies and gentlemen. **

_The FEA crew have just played their video game. I caught up with them to ask: What is one flaw with it if any?_

_Gaius_

I honestly think that the game did not change my candy! I have the same exact pieces of candy throughout the game! How does that work? That amount of candy would not have lasted me a week! Game me is a poser!

_Gregor_

Why is Gregor one person in this game? Gregor is being with the everyone! Gregor is not being with only the one person! Oi! What is wrong with game makers? They should be doing more research on Gregor!

_Sumia_

Oh gods. Am I THAT clumsy? I mean, I do trip every once in a while, but it is not that bad! Also, why is the cutscene that Chrom and I have on top of my pegasus called "Lovebirds?" I mean, we were flying for our LIVES. We did not have much time to be thinking about romance! WAAAAAH! (She tripped.)

_Chrom_

My cape does NOT flutter like that.

_It actually does_

Shut up. Why is it that every time I am represented in some other medium, my cape is always flowing heroically through non-existent wind? It is stupid.

_Cordelia_

We don't even have supports… WHAT THE FUCK? I mean, he has supports with Olivia of all people, and that doesn't even make sense because he marries her the chapter after we recruit her! I mean, who the FUCK thought that it was a good idea to do her instead of me? *_Author fast forwards_* And don't even get me started on how he has supports with Marribelle! *_Author fast forwards again_* What about his and Sully's supports? They have NO chemistry! *_Author Fast forwards._* And Robin? As a girl? What the Fuck you sick gender bending dumbasses? *_Fast forwards* _And why the hell are they pushing the Chrom Sumia romance? I've loved Chrom way longer then she has! *_Fast forwards to end of rant* _And that is why I thought the game was terrible!

_You took five hours ranting about Chrom's supports. I should be impressed, or pissed. Mostly I am just exhausted._

I am soooo sorry. Just so angry!

_Severa_

The entire game was just terrible! GAWDS!

...

...

...Although, I suppose that the graphics were nice.

_Robin_

I thought the game was good. The tactics were a little iffy though. Who just sits around and waits for the other person to attack? Stupid.

_Henry_

Nyahahahaha! Where was all of the blood? Why is there no blood? Are you saying I can cut you all I want, and no blood will come out? That's no Fun! That by itself is a CAWS for complaint!

_Nowi_

I am NOT that immature! The game makes me seem air headed with no ability to foc- Wow! That is a really cool looking rock!

_Tharja_

Why do I have so many supports? There is no way I would associate with those fools.

_Me_

One flaw with it? Geeez. Ummm... Romance can not be summed up in four conversations.

_Everyone Else: YES IT CAN!_

No it can't, which is why we have Fanfiction. So we with too much time on our hands can fill in the gaps.

**AN: Well, she has a baisic idea for how the chapter is going to go fleshed out, so tthis is going to, yet again, tide you over until it is finished. I will see you guys then.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: This is going to be interesting… A chapter with actual continuity. Not only that, but three scenes! Is it because I just forgot to post them after I wrote them?**

**...**

**No.**

**...**

**Enjoy.**

Scene 1

Robin: NOAH!

Me: Hey Robin, what is up?

Robin: You had us complain about our game last time right?

Me: Yes.

Robin: Well how about something that I really liked?

Me: Shoot.

Robin: How I could make my harem.

Me: … Run that past me again?

Robin: All the ladies want a piece of the Robin-Meister!

Me: Do… You have proof of this?

Robin: Who do all the ladies wanna support with? That's right! The Robin-Meister!

Me: Sweet Naga, Robin is turning into a third person speaker like Gregor and Vaike.

Robin: The Robin-Meister knows all the best strategies to get into the ladies panties! The Robin- Meister is the love god! The Robin-Meister...

Me: I should be disgusted, but I really can't take this seriously.

Robin: ...and then when the Robin-Meister has the ladies on his bed he-

Me: WOAH! I am going to stop you there! We are really trying to stick to the T rating here.

Robin: Then, when the Robin-Meister finds all of his harem pregnant, he takes all of the girls and he…

Me: Now you are going a bit too far.

Robin: ...and he takes off their clothes…

Me: Seriously! Stop it!

Robin: ...And then The Robin-Meister is the father of the whole entire world!

Me: *Slap*

Robin: What happened?

Me: Oh, nothing much. You just went on a rant on how the entire world was your harem.

Robin:...

Me:...

Robin: You are such a trickster Noah!

Me: Just wait until you see what you said on the internet.

SCENE 2

Narrator: Hello and welcome back, to this weeks edition of torturing Shepherds with music.

Audience: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Narrator: Let's check out our first victim.

**Severa**

Me: Hello Severa!

Severa: Why did you tie me up and put me in here? GAWDS!

Me: Because I am going to introduce you to a new song!

Severa: I HATE music.

Me:...

Severa:...

Me:...

Severa: AlthoughIsupposefolkmusicisokay.

Me: You like folk music?

Severa: NO!

Me:...

Severa: …

Me: You love everything.

Severa: W-what gave you that impression?

Me: Why don't we start you off with a song?

Severa: ...fine.

Me: This song is by Three days grace.

Severa: That is a stupid name.

Me: Wait for it.

Severa: …

Me: 3...2...1

Severa: Although I suppose it is kinda catchy.

Me: That is what I thought. Here it is.

Song: I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!

Severa: ?

Song: WHY DO I LOVE YOU?

Severa: This song is stupid.

Me: Good-bye.

Severa: Although I suppose the rhythm is… Hey! Where are you going? GET BACK HERE!

**Henry**

Me: Look, I get that you helped me last time.

Henry: YUP! I gave you a HAND! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: But you did not have to volunteer for the victim this time. Why?

Henry: BeCAWS I think this may be the best way to achieve my dream of a bloody and painless death!

Me: …

Henry: Ooh...blood.

Me: Right. Anyway, this song is by Puddle of Mudd.

Henry: Do you mean puddle of blood?

Me: …

Henry: I like that name better.

Me: You would. Anyway, here is the song.

Song: MAYBE I'M THE ONE. MAYBE I'M THE ONE. WHO IS A SCHIZOPHRENIC PSYCHO.

Henry: Oooh. Catchy.

Me: Give it a couple hours.

**Emmeryn**

Me: Hello Emm!

Emm: ...hi.

Me: Look, I know you lost your memories in a horrific accident, but that is why we are here. To help regain those memories.

Emm:...Ok.

Me: First, this song is called Chop Suey, by System of a Down.

Emm:...Why are we... Doing a song?

Me: *evil grin* It should help.

Emm: ...Ok.

Me: Putting in the song.

Song: I DON'T THINK YOU TRUST. IN. MY. SELF-RIGHTEOUS SUICIDE!

Me: Feel anything?

Song: I. CRY. WHEN ANGELS DESERVE TO DIE!

Emm: ...IT IS VERY LOUD!

Me: Give it a couple hours.

Narrator: It has been a couple hours. Let us check up on our victims!

**Severa**

(Song and Severa in unison.)

Song: I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!

Severa: I HATE EVERYTHING BOUT THIS SONG!

Song: WHY DO I LOVE YOU?

Severa: WHY DO I LOVE IT?

Me: Looks like insanity is coming along nicely.

**Henry**

Song: YOU'RE THE ONE! YOU'RE THE ONE! WHO IS A SCHIZOPHRENIC PSYCO!

Henry: Nyahahahaha! This song is funny! I may DIE of laughter!

Me: There is not much we can do to make him more insane.

**Emmeryn**

Emm:...Why would this help me to remember anything?

Song: SELF-RIGHTEOUS SUICIDE!

Emm: ...Why does that seem familiar?

Song: I. CRY. WHEN ANGELS DESERVE TO DIE!

Emm: Ow! ...Really loud.

Me: She is be doing alright. I'll check on her in another three hours.

Narrator: After five hours, the newly tortured souls emerge.

**Severa**

Severa: *singing to a flower* I hate everything about you.

me: Um, Severa?

Severa: Why do I love you?

Me: Nothing new here.

Severa: *To me.* I hate everything about you!

Me: What! Ow!

Severa: Why do I still love you?

*kiss. Sorry, more like face rape.*

Severa: *runs off to find more things to Tsundere.*

Me: I hope Liv did not see that. That would be hard to explain.

Liv: Oh I saw.

Me: Shit.

**Henry**

Henry: Heyo!

Me: *sigh* I suppose you can't make the insane any more insane.

Henry: Of CORPSE! Now, if you excuse me, I have to find a puddle of Mud that can play that song.

Me: I am not sure if that is how it works.

Henry: Of CORPSE it is. It is in their blood. Ooh metaphorical blood.

**Emmeryn**

Emm: I remember! Guys! I remember!

Everyone: Yay!

Me: I knew I could do it!

Group of risen: Blaarg!

Me: Shit! We are under attack!

Emm: Don't Worry! I will save us all by sacrificing myself!

Me: ...I am starting to see a trend.

Scene 3

Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AWAKENING! MORGAN! VERSUS! CHROM! BEGIN!

Chrom: I am the epitome of awesome.

All the girls want to do me.

They all hop into my bed.

From Thoaria to Lamby.

But you know, the one thing I have not yet seen,

Is anyone falling for you, if you know what I mean.

You call me grandpa? Oooh. That kinda stings.

But I have come back from even worse things.

You wanna rap against me? You're just a little fool,

Cuz you know Your pop-pop is gonna kick it old school.

Morgan: I pledge allegiance to the cape!

Constantly fluttering from your nape!

This is not a battle, this is a rhyme rape!

Soon Frederick is gonna be a pullin' up the white tape.

Tiki was not right in the way she named ya.

She called you Anri when she shoulda called you Oprah.

The king and the Conqueror who tried to kill ya.

YOU'RE A SHEPHERD! YOU'RE A SHEPHERD! Oh yeah.

Chrom: For this bout let me give you a little tip.

When you hop back in time and take a little trip,

Be sure to keep your memories firmly in grip.

So when your past memories come out with a flip,

You better believe it, so pick up your bottom lip.

Watch out! You are going to become a rerun of your father!

Your original personality is slipping farther and farther-

Away. wait was that really your goal?

To become a total daddy's girl with everything you stole?

No matter how much you improve, the first will be the greatest.

And all of those copycats will end up being lamest.

Morgan: You are right Gramps, I try to eclipse my dad

Become a better strategist and friend, make him a fad.

But there is one place he can never touch me in!

I drop iller rhymes faster than you can handle im'.

Oh! At least my dad's footsteps were worth following,

Your Dad was a genocidal freak, the crazy king.

Oh, and Mr. Exalt, you want to know the funny thing?

I'm not the one going round having sex with my siblings.

Announcer: WHO ONE? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AWAKENING!

**AN: Seriously, you decide who is up next. A big shout out to JediNoah25 for giving me the concept of this battle. Anyway, Chapter 42 is still being written, but I think it may be slightly longer than the chapters I do, so excuse Thoaria. So, as always, follow, review, and vote! I will see you guys next time.**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Ok, Here is something. Today is my girlfriend's birthday. As a result, when she requested that this be written, I had to say yes. 3 reasons why:**

**She is my GIRLFRIEND. Think about this for a second. If your SO asks you to do something that is reasonable, you do it.**

**It is her BIRTHDAY. This is going to be one of her presents. I am just sharing it with everyone per her request.**

**She put up a VERY convincing argument. **

**Ahem. Anyway, enjoy the newest installment of Epic Rap Battles Of Awakening.**

Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AWAKENING!

SEVERA!

VERSUS!

LISSA!

BEGIN!

Lissa: You really want to go up against the prankster queen?

Better check all ya pockets if ya know what I mean.

Better check your bedroll, and make sure it is squeaky clean,

Before you get your fat ass down to sleepin' Ice Queen.

And really? What would you be without your Dere Dere?

A Maribelle persona, with a body that is goin nowhere!

Don't you be looking at me with that blank stare,

You have one personality trait! The most cliched out there!

You see what you lookin at? A three dimensional character.

Not any one sheet of the thinnest piece of paper

Could ever get an accurate picture of your flatness.

From your stupid personally to your non-existent tits.

Severa: As if I care. GAWDS you are stupid.

Why continue when you'll just get wounded?

My sic flows hit harder than your stupid pranks,

So back the fuck off, no one likes you. No thanks.

Are you afraid of the stupid slimy frogs?

Then why do you use them for all your pranks? (GAWDS!)

You are a princess? More like a little fucking hypocrite.

Why talk about my breasts? You are the queen of flat tits!

You are always so popular, you little social butterfly,

Yet no one would care if you suddenly died.

The thing is, you are just a useless little small fry.

So go ahead! Run back to your castle and cry.

Lissa: Awww. You jealous of your mom? With big Daddy issues?

You should be! Everyone likes her better than we like you.

And all your dad wants to do is bitch slap you

For the hellish shopping spree that you put him through!

You long to be wanted, but you act like a bitch,

No matter how much I prank, no matter how much they flinch

Taking their forgiveness is definitely a cinch

When I don't treat them like trash, they don't want to lynch

The reigning princess of Ylisse when I treat them right.

And guess what? They don't even really care that I can't fight.

But with you, they run away at your sight.

Severa: Sure that might be true, but I don't want to be bugged.

The fact you are so open will end up with you getting mugged.

And people like getting pranked? I don't enjoy getting drugged.

So shut your whore mouth, before ya killed, and lugged

Down to a river, where they leave you to rot in hell.

because of your stupid dress you couldn't ride when you fell.

If hate was height I would be a million feet tall!

Who am I kidding? I am in love with you all.

Announcer: WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF AWAKENING!

**AN: Who won? You decide. Seriously, I don't know who is going to be next either. Anyway, follow and review! I would really appreciate it!**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: This was an idea I had. It is a sort of crossovery thing with Fairy Tail, and Future Diary. The question I seek to answer is:**

_Who would win in a stalking Competition, Tharja, Yuno Gasai, or Juvia?_

Me: Alright you three. Each of your respective love interests are hiding in that forest. Whoever finds their love first is the winner!

Tharja: What is stopping us from torturing the information out of you?

Yuno: Torture is not really my strong suit because they always end up dying before I am finished.

Me: *Gulp*

Juvia: Grey-Sama does not approve of torture.

Tharja: Fine... What is the prize?

Me: The honor of knowing that your love is the greatest in the multiverse.

All three: I WILL WIN!

Tharja: Sorry ladies, but I put a tracking curse on Robin.

Yuno: Oh yeah? I have a diary that allows me to know Yuki's every movement.

Juvia: Oh yeah? I have... Um... WATER POWERS THAT CAN CONFINE YOU!

*Yuno and Tharja are trapped in balls of water.*

Juvia: I WILL FIND YOU GREY-SAMA! *runs into woods.*

Me: It appears that Juvia just got a head start.

Yuno: I will cleave my way out! *Pulls out cleaver.*

Tharja: This is an amateur curse. *Water ball evaporates.* See you in hell Yuno Gasai.

Me: Tharja got out in 45 seconds. Yuno is still struggling to be out of her confinement.

Yuno: I will murder you, and carry your head around in a gym bag.

Me: That is... Terrifying.

Yuno: I will escape! *Swims out of Water Ball*

Me: It took her 10 minutes, but Yuno finally escaped.

Yuno: *Pulls out meat cleaver.* Time for you to die!

Me: W-wait! *Trembling* You don't have time for that! You are already 10 minutes behind the other two.

Yuno: I AM COMING YUKI! *runs into forest*

Me: She fucking terrifies me. *silence* Let's go check on Juvia's progress.

*scene change*

Juvia: I see Grey Sama. This will prove once and for all how much I love him. *pounces* Yaaaaaaah!

*Grey shatters.*

Juvia: I-I killed Grey Sama? Ice? He tricked me? I have to find him. Grey Sama!

*Scene changes*

Tharja: Heh. I am feeling warmth from my tome. That means Robin is close BYYYYY! *Falls into a pitfall trap*

Robin: You always followed me with such a single minded determination. I knew you would fall for the oldest trap in the book.

Tharja: Why would you try to trap me?

Robin: Because I am already married you sick woman. I don't want us to be known as the greatest love in the multiverse if I don't love you.

Tharja: B-but...

Robin: I will leave you there now, and escape.

Tharja: I WILL FIND YOU ROBIN!

*Scene change*

Yuno: Let's see what Yuki has been doing...

Diary #2:

1000: Yuki sets up a rope trap on the tree with the red bark. He thought that would trick me? He is so cute 3.

1010: Yuki set up a trip wire between the two oak trees. It is surprising how simple minded Yuki is.

1020: I run into the Avalanche trap that he set up for me on the mountain.

**DEAD END**

Yuno: Good to know. Watch out for the avalanche trap. I will win this.

*Scene change*

Juvia: GREY SAMA! Why are you hiding? I thought you loved Juvia?

*silence*

Juvia: I have a feeling that I missed something...

*Meanwhile, on the other side of the forest...*

Grey: Did she notice the Grey statue was pointing right at this cave? I thought it would take less time than this...

*Scene change*

Tharja: Stupid Robin with his stupid pitfall trap. *Climbs out* I will find HIIIIM! *Tharja hangs upside down from a rope.* COME ON! Wait, a message.

Message: Dear Yuno,

Sorry.

Love, Yuki

Tharja: So. What you are saying is that I ran into a trap that didn't even intended for me? *cuts herself down* Someone is getting cursed.

*Scene change*

Yuki: Ok. I think that I have escaped Yuno.

*Yuno tackles Yuki*

Yuno: We are the greatest love in the Multiverse Yuki! *claps her hands*

Me: The winners are Yuno and Yuki! All participants to me!

*all parties are teleported in.*

Me: Everyone did a fabulous job, but Yuno is the winner.

Tharja: I cannot accept this. *Curse*

Me: OW OW! AGHDHINGUYFKUCKIKJFDXHRZGHGVHTVIUDBHTCBJHKOPPHGRSXGEWQSGYGFEYGSHVJKYFRGUUGBJUDXHURGJIGGK!

Juvia: Juvia will help too! *Traps me in the water ball.*

Yuno: I told you I would kill you. *draws cleaver.* DIE!

*I die*

Yuno: I think we are done here. Let's go home.

**AN: There is a few specific reasons why this was the outcome:**

**1: Yuno Gasai had the superior tracking device.**

**2. She is more Yandere than the other two combined.**

**3: Whereas Robin did not want to be found, the other two did.**

**4. Juvia is kinda oblivious to obvious signs. As a result, she would not notice subtle ones.**

**5. Out of the three, Yuno is the most terrifying. I am legitimately scared of her.**

**Anyway, for those of you following my other fic, I am working on Chapter 44. Actually, I am already more popular than I ever expected myself to be, so thank you for your follows, and reviews! I really appreciate it!**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: This may be the only true piece of crack I will ever write. No prior planning, or anything. I am just typing whatever the hell I think of and rolling with it. A special shout out to DustedWithStars because it is her birthday! Happy B-day buddy! And happy birthday to whoever else has a birthday on February 12th. Also a shoutout to Thoaria who's birthday I missed, so happy belated b-day Thor! Now that we have all the pleasantries out of the way, let's get started!**

Dusty: Oh YES! SUCK IT BOOS! I got inside one of your works! And it is not just the author's note this time!

Noah: Isn't it a strange coincidence that it is just my crack fic, and it is your birthday?

Dusty: ... So you are telling me you let me in?

Noah: I have writers powers here, so dry it up and make a wish because it is your BIRTHDAY!

Dusty: IT IS? Oh I would like to thank all of the little people who helped me to get me to this point...

Noah: Dude, it is just your birthday, no need to make your Oscar speech-

Dusty: And my parents for always supporting me-

Thoaria: SERIOUSLY! Make a wish!

Dusty: Tho-Tho? You are here too?

Noah: Are you that surprised? We are the three musketeers! The three Stooges! The three seasons!

Thoaria: FOUR seasons.

Noah: Whatever! What wish do you want?

Dusty: I want... HENRY!

Thoaria: Good wish!

Noah: Erm...

Dusty: Shouldn't be a problem for Mr. All powerful writer should it?

Noah: OKAY! OKAY!

*Opens Laptop*

Noah: Get ready Dusty… *Tapity tap tap tap* There.

Henry: Hey Dusty! Lets go kill things!

Dusty: AWESOME! Let's!

Thoaria: ME TOO ME TOO! Do my hubby!

Noah: But it isn't your birthday.

Thoaria: Yes, but you forgot my birthday.

Noah: …

Thoaria: *Glaring*

Noah: …

Thoaria: *Still glaring*

Noah: …. Fine. *Tappity tap tap tap*

Gaius: Hey sweetness.

Thoaria: ...Noah.

Noah: Yeah?

Thoaria: We both know that Gaius is NOT my hubby.

Noah: FIIIIIIIINNNNNE! *Backspace, Tappity tap tap tap.* I can't believe how ordinary you can be at times Thoaria…

Thoaria: What is that supposed to mean?

Chrom: Hello Erin. I do believe that you asked to see me?

Thoaria: YAY!

Dusty: Now what should we do?

Thoaria: DOUBLE DATE!

Dusty: YAS!

Noah: Great! I'll just type Liv up and we can make it a triple.

Both: Nuh uh!

Noah: Why?

Thoaria: You have to write our surroundings and shit. Interactions, how the boys react and stuff.

Dusty: Plus you forgot Thoaria's birthday, so this is punishment. NOW TYPE MONKEY!

Noah: *under breath* I am already regretting this.

*A cafe appears*

Noah: Here you are ladies! Cafe A La Amazing. It has every variation of food you could ever want.

Chrom: Even Bear?

Noah: Yes Chrom, even bear.

Dusty: Awesome….

Thoaria: Cool…

Henry: That is the great Noah for you!

Dusty: Noah… quit getting your H references confused. Henry is not Happy the cat.

Noah: C'mon! Can't I just have a little fun with this?

Dusty: NO! This is your punishment, remember?

Noah: *Sigh…* Fuck.

Cordelia: I know how you feel Noah. Every time I see Chrom with another woman my heart just hurts.

Noah: Nighty is coming to snatch you up in three… two…

*The Tactician Knight grabs Cordelia and drags her down to his domain.*

Noah: Nighty Cameo… check.

Others: *Stare*

Chrom: Alright then! Shall we?

*Cafe is empty.*

Dusty: Noah! The service inside this place is terrible!

Noah: ON IT!

*Two hours later*

Thoaria: That date was amazing! Thank you Chrom!

Chrom: You are welcome miss.

*Kiss*

Dusty: Well, thanks for tonight!

Henry: NYAHAHAHAHAHA! You are better than a dead puppy farting rainbows on the moon Dusty!

Dusty: Well thank you, but-

*Kiss*

Both Males: Bye!

*Dissappear*

Noah: I DID IT!

Dusty: Thank you for the awesome birthday present!

Noah: It was my pleasure.

Thoaria: Heh. Good job on writing everything for us.

Dusty: Even if it was your punishment.

Noah: *Smug* It was my pleasure writing up those dates for you ladies.

Thoaria: Wait…

Dusty: What?

Thoaria: Technically, Noah was writing for Henry and Chrom right?

Dusty: Right…

Thoaria: That technically means that we both went on a date with him.

Both: … 0.0

Noah: Have a nice day ladies, hope you get over your sudden raging urge to puke from asking to go on a date with me inadvertently.

Thoaria: Are you really that desperate?

Noah: Yes.

*Dusty is writhing on the ground with pain.*

Noah: Happy birthday Dusty.

Dusty: I want a different present!

Noah: Your present was a wish, and you wanted Henry. Your fault.

Dusty: YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!

Noah: See you guys later. *presses close*

Both: WAITWAITWAIT!

…

Noah: What are you waiting around for? Type the AN self. Nothing else to see here!

**AN: Right… That actually went pretty well for improv writing. Please tell me if you enjoyed it! I may type more improv work in the future. Anyway, follow and review! I really appreciate it!**


End file.
